


Hearth For Two Players

by Cesare



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alien Culture, Gen, Pegasus Galaxy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-05
Updated: 2011-04-05
Packaged: 2017-10-17 15:12:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/178172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cesare/pseuds/Cesare





	Hearth For Two Players

"Rodney..." John drops his head into his hands. "Ronon's been playing this game all his life. Teyla picked it up ten years ago. The anthropologists can't stop wetting themselves over how much it's taught them about cultural metaphors in Pegasus."

"Believe me, I'm well aware," says Rodney. "I'm the one who has to get the budget approved for research on _card games,_ which the IOA is just ecstatic about."

"My point is, it doesn't matter how long we practice, we're never going to be as good as them at Hearth."

Rodney glares at John stubbornly. "It's your deal."

*

John shuffles the cards and deals four hands of seven. Hearth can be played with two people, and John suggested that it might be easier for them since they're still learning the game, but Rodney insists that they play two hands each to simulate a four-person game. John's sure it makes sense somewhere in that humongous brain of his.

Rodney picks up his cards and slaps them right back down again. "I lost!"

"Already?"

"Five Torches, no Water," Rodney laments.

"Rough luck."

Rodney checks his other hand. "What?! Four Wind, no Stone! This hand already lost all its cards!"

*

He scowls at John. "I suppose somehow you already got a Hearth."

"Wait a minute, what're you crying about?" John points to Rodney's tiles. "Your first hand has a Rabbit tile, that'll put out two Torches, and this hand has a Snake-- you can discard two Wind. They're both still in the game."

"Oh." Rodney clears his throat, making both plays. "Of course. I was just... quizzing you."

"Right." John flips his Raccoon tile to Rodney. "Now give me one of those Torches, since you've got so many."

"Hey! No fair looking at my cards!"

"I didn't! You _told_ me!"

*

Both John's hands make a Hearth before Rodney's two hands get anywhere. Rodney looks like he's about one more loss from tearing up the deck.

"I don't get it," he says. "I can memorize practically anything as fast as I can learn it. Any game's rules reduce very neatly down to algorithms, which I eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and sometimes when I'm not even hungry! How am I screwing this up?"

"It's a pretty downbeat game," says John. "There's, what, twenty ways to lose? And just one way to win, after you collect thirteen cards. Fourteen at night."

*

"So it's a pessimistic game," says Rodney. "I should be a natural!"

"It's mostly the tiles that're tripping you up," John says. "Maybe it's because they're, you know... metaphorical."

Rodney bristles. "And that's supposed to explain how you keep beating me? You, Colonel Still On Page Thirty-Eight Of War And Peace After Six Years?"

John slumps back and says in his most infuriating drawl, "Seems like I only need thirty-eight pages to kick your ass."

"Oh, that is _it,"_ says Rodney. "Give me that deck, I'm going to beat you to building a fire if it kills me."

*

Luck of the draw, both Rodney's hands beat John in the next game.

"Notice I won when I dealt," says Rodney. "Suspicious."

"Oh yeah? That a confession?"

"Of course not! I mean I suspect you!"

"I don't cheat," says John indignantly.

"You cheat at everything we compete at, all the time!" Rodney argues. "When we played the Game, you'd sneak down and build fortifications behind my back. We're racing our RC cars, you bump your car into mine on purpose. We both have our eye on the same woman, suddenly you need me to fix something under a filthy console."

*

John rubs the back of his neck. "Okay, maybe sometimes my strategies might be a little... unorthodox. But it's not like you're any better! What about that Ancient crystal overdrive in your car? You telling me it came like that from Radio Shack?"

"You have access to all the same resources I do!" Rodney answers hotly.

"Come on, McKay! I don't have access to _you!"_ John's not sure how he ended up yelling that.

Rodney looks... not smug, for once, but just... pleased. "Well, and I appreciate your unorthodox strategies when you're using them to save everyone's lives," he admits.

*

John stares at the neat stack of cards. "Did we just have a moment?"

"I think... maybe so?" Rodney looks just as uncomfortable as John at the prospect. "You're still, you know, a cheater, and reckless, and everything."

"Right... and you're just as much of a cheat and a hypocrite besides," says John, trying to get back to their usual corners. "So... you want to play another hand?"

"We should break our tie."

"Let's just play an actual game, though. Enough simulating. One hand apiece."

"All right," Rodney agrees, shuffling. "But if you don't mind, I'll deal."

"Knock yourself out."


End file.
